brain injuries, vacays & the dogs

understanding CPTSD is tricky. especially in 2026.

put simply, it stands for complex post traumatic stress disorder. while it's a layered array of interdimensial facets, "for dummies," it is a traumatic event x however many series of unfortunate events happened. there's always a drum roll that helps the delivery though.

we're not here to dampen a perfectly good day. consider it truth on a biodegradable camping plate with a side of "should i be laughing at this??" well yes, yes you should. life's hard enough but it doesn't suck if you know how to have a good time.

"i'm 27 years old. i've no money and no prospects. i'm already a burden to my parents. and i'm frightened. so don't judge me lizzie. don't you dare judge me." - charlotte, pride and prejudice

random related good song we thought of: charlotte's thong - connan mockasin

a cathartic cry in the wild

a cold day in the desert. left fully equipped for a walk on the hunt for petrified wood. future campsites ear marked. feelings + memory combo hit. bawled her eyes out for hours. until the sun came out for the sunset. omg. immediately yes. that was so nice. hey we got a few good pics before the storm hit and ran though. hell yeah.

it was like 30 min. driggs always said I need my memory foam bed, drumstick, chicken wing and vitamin before dark. let's also share fruit snacks and pull n' peels because florida crystal cane sugar is better but they don't have that at the gas station. just those dried out cookies with no flavor. sticks and hard rocks are life.

the early days... pre-history

the red vest

look. she knew she was... traumatized from day one, she just didn't have shit to prove it yet. "not enough" per the doctor. adhd or autism? not high enough. "fix your trauma then come back."

retail therapy

a long standing tried and true method. some stores still let us in. we needed more then too, but i knew it was a step in the right direction. one step at a time.

work in progress

oh driggs. he saw a squirrel and thought jumping out of the car window at 30mph  was a good idea... thank god it was just a few scrapes. "damn that's hot!" "i could've told you that." never happened again.

workin' boi

special privileges at the real estate office. even before official status. he and the squad loved to play "find the drugs," a game that stuck forever.

emotional support dog ≠ service dog

cada mañana, noche, cualquier tiempo

deep pressure therapy, anxiety alerts, character judge, the BEST snuggles, safety checks, crowd control, coregulation, and the list went on.

in the end, he even learned snack retrieval as part of his low blood sugar training without taking his share. key word without. a seemingly easy task yet food and treats are... drool worthy.

self-training allows people to have a service dog without spending thousands. completely legal, just have to know yourself well enough to show someone how to help yourself.

our favorite activity? everything. together.

diagnosis? devastated I was apathetically right

but first... hair crisis

there wasn't even a real breakup yet. mom said no kool-aid tips as a kid. adult nat found color depositing conditioner... a low commitment option. step 1 with bleach already completed. f*** it. live on.

the unofficial badge

not necessary, but anything helps since we both look too put together to be considered disabled. you can hold a job? yeah, unbelievable. you seem just fine.

the must have

per the last slide, a handout for anyone who doubted us. they hated us for being right. it's a beast to live with, but god, the status sure makes life worth living.

crisis averted. bleach again.

the pink faded, back to blonde. imposter syndrome always. who gives a rip about hair color anyway. it grew back slower thanks to chemical damage. 7th grade when the highlights started. keeping up root appearances got old after a decade.

tattoos in recovery

1. the "drunken stupor"

mistake? hardly. mentally planned beforehand. 3 australians and 2 friends had a good time at the tattoo shop at 2am. absolutely no regrets. still a family favorite, for dad and nate. right side, strong side. cancer's a b*tch.

2. the florida edition

they said it was basic, but i drew it myself and it only took 5 minutes to get. "don't tell my parents" she said. well, she said "yeah my mom won't be mad about this either." left inside ankle. the weak side. happy symbol during winter. yes, it works.

3. 2024 was for dave

taken from the note he left us. his handwriting. on the left side close to the heart. never give up. follow your own path. life's an adventure. don't forget to have fun while you're at it.

"but did you die?" .... majomenos

retail therapy, once "cleared"

a near death the week before. his legs were bad, her own nerves collapsed on the way out of discount tire. we were holding each other up while the company said we faked it. doc said iv, eat, sleep, that's it. seriously? yeah, f*ck it. just happy to be alive tbh. new cowboy boots for structured ankle support.

getting fully ready? accomplishment

motor skills limited. migraines in eyebrow concentration. numb arm and leg. red eyes from tired. dirty ass mirror. the culprit? on the left. bandana on the leg to stay grounded and away from the void. physical contact kept the demons away.

recovery time

horizontal rest. 20lbs up from ground zero. much needed vitamin d. also doc recommended. couldn't read my book until the guy left. just another rare bikini pic to the world, just a favorite past time to her. still haven't finished that book.

the walking dead

since the gait was so uneven and unstable, she got the stick from a local gas station. clerk hit on her while she was at it. driggs needed a new shoe for his bad leg. extra leather from the ipad case, no job, running out of money, a couple hours, and voila. the one that lasted him until the end with only 1 repair.

signs of wear and tear

the foot drag. heart wrenching sound. especially the collapse. still happy, still worked, just needed time to grow back without lumbrosacral stenosis.

but he's not going out without a final trip to the tetons. the place he was named after, not far from the ranch he was born on.

the end of an era

daily tear-y snuggles

they couldn't do much otherwise. thank god for lack of employment so they never had to be apart and enjoy all the scenic car rides together. howling to piano man even still.

the dead leg

final visit to grami. "where are my legs ron?!" "they're right there brick." okay well throw the ball mom. why tf are you crying? i'm fine. I don't feel anything. throw the damn ball idgaf.

the final roadtrip

it hit both legs by then. her pinched nerves, sciatica and scoliosis wheelbarrowed him the last 2 days. holding onto his butt so he wouldn't fall off the seat. howling piano man solos out the windows.

all dogs go to heaven

surrounded by beautiful women, and a couple dudes... whatever. put me out of my misery. can't walk or hike anymore? send me away so grandpa can give me a chocolate creamie, meet nate for once, and listen to dave's guitar again

song rec?

my silver lining - first aid kit

partners in crime, while it lasted

laredo we have a problem

good hearted and well intentioned doesn't mean perfect. i went to jail for these babies. for real. what do you mean he's wild? in the best way. she was fine the whole time, side eyeing her brother all the way.

the wild bite

a warning. intact. not vaccinated. her period came with a vengeance. inside the tent. midnight. in the dark. snuggle time ended. not on his watch. mandatory quarantine. deemed unsafe for society. man down. heart? shredded. never forget jack zeppelin.

unwarranted grippy sock vacay

before the dogs. what? might as well look not unstable. deemed "inappropriate" on the walk out. gifted a shirt that said "humans aren't real." alien logo on the chest... how fitting... how rude at the same time because I made this myself and it's all I have right now. 

back to the arts

peace at last. in the studio. to the drawing board. enjoy the music while it lasts, the visual that comes along with it, and the voice that follows. as long as it lasts anyway.

and so the journey continues... 

let the good times roll, ride the waves, and wait out the storm... it's all good. we've all been there. to a degree.. stay cool, stay warm. whatever floats your boat. tell that inner critic to stfu. 

skål. until we meet again, hermanos.